Photographer refuses to keep working unpaid for friend’s candle side business after years of being treated like an intern: ‘I told her I would need to be paid or at least get some kind of compensation’

Running a side business is great until your friends turn into your unpaid interns.  

This story is not about one person being greedy and the other being a cheapskate. It is about how easy it is for "helping a friend" to slide into "running a small business on free labor from someone who actually knows what they are doing." The friend starts out with a cute candle idea and a tiny budget, so the photographer jumps in happy to help and obsessed with the craft of it all. Fun weekends, nice lighting, pretty shots, the whole cliché creative vibe. For a while it feels like collaboration not work.

Like what you see? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google. 

Author image for Etai Eshet Etai Eshet
Add us on Google
Advertisement

  • Then the business actually takes off. Drops sell out posting about hiring help new designer on the payroll shipping help hired and candle prices quietly going up to match the hype. The product side of the operation has been upgraded to legit. The photo side though is still running on free energy and leftover goodwill. The friend stops seeing the lens as a shared project and starts treating it like a permanent in‑house department someone who “supports her journey” by not charging.

  • Woman examining a small glass candle jar tied with twine, photographed outdoors
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to keep helping my friend with her side business after she started charging everyone but me

    kira1990nightly

  • I (27F) have a friend (28F) who started a small handmade candle business about a year ago. When she first launched it she asked if I could help her with photos for her instagram and website since photography is my hobby and I already had decent gear.

  • I agreed because I was excited for her and honestly it was fun at the start. I would spend weekends helping stage shoots, editing pics, even helping pack orders sometimes.

  • At first she couldnt afford to pay anyone so I didnt mind doing it for free. Over time though her business actually started doing really well. 

  • Blonde woman holding a DSLR camera and looking down at the screen while standing outdoors in bright natural light, hair blowing in the wind with a softly blurred mountain landscape in the background.
    via Kenzie Kraft

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She now sells out drops, posts about hiring part time help, and recently started paying a graphic designer and someone to help with shipping.

  • I noticed she also raised her candle prices which good for her honestly. The weird part is she still expects me to do photos for free because she says im her friend and part of her journey.

  • Last week she asked me to reshoot her entire spring collection with like 15 products and lifestyle shots. 

  • I told her I would need to be paid or at least get some kind of compensation because it takes hours of setup editing and planning. She got really quiet and then said she thought I supported her and that charging her feels cold. 

  • She also mentioned how she always gives me candles for birthdays which feels not even close to the same value but now I feel awkward even thinking that.

  • Some mutual friends say im being transactional and friendships shouldnt be about money. Others say she is basically running a business and using free labor.

  • Woman wearing a flowing white two-piece outfit with wide-leg pants and a long open jacket stands outdoors on green grass in front of a brick wall covered in leafy vines, eyes closed in sunlight, styled in an elegant minimalist fashion look.
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Now she is being distant and I feel guilty but also kinda used. AITA for drawing this boundary

  • Comments:

  • Truebeliever-14 NTA she has been taking your help for granted, ask her at what point would she have offered to pay for your services. I'm sure it never occurred to her.
    via kira1990nightly
  • StraddleTheFence Everyone, including her, gets paid except you?
    via kira1990nightly
  • chicagok8 NTA. She says you're "part of her journey" so you should be part of the rewards, not just the work. She's a user.
    via kira1990nightly
  • BadweeBitch NTA, you're being taken advantage of. The work you do is a large part of the reason she does so well, and you need to look into what others charge and show her as well. If she's started paying others, she likely knows roughly how much she should be paying you, but that would cut into her bottom line.
    via kira1990nightly
  • tphatmcgee nta at all. ask who else is giving her their time and expertise for free. ask what she is doing to reciprocate with you. those friends need to step back unless they are also giving her hundreds of dollars and hours in free work. your friend is taking advantage of you. yes, you supported her. yes you helped her. now that she is profiting off of your labor, she wants to continue with no quid pro quo. and completely forget what part you had in getting her there. salt in the wound is her
    via kira1990nightly
  • coykoi Okay, any of those lovely friends should be down to help her for free then! Surely the next photographer will! Don't feel bad just set your boundary & stick to it. Nothing to crisis over, people are selfish sometimes & studies show doing. things for free makes people devalue them. Lesson learned.
    via kira1990nightly
  • buffetite If she was a real friend you wouldn't need to ask her to pay you. Honestly, when my friends provide a service to me I pay, because I'm a friend and I want to support their work.
    via kira1990nightly
  • surrounded-by-morons The ones who claim that friends shouldn't be transactional and all about money are clearly dumb af. Your friend is treating you like your friendship is transactional and like she's owed free labor from you. Stand your ground because why is it ok for her to make money on her passion project but you aren't a good person because you want to make money with your art as well.
    via kira1990nightly

  • The real line gets crossed when the producer asks for a full reshoot of a seasonal collection with styled flat lays and lifestyle shots and does not even pretend it is a chill favor anymore. It takes hours of setup planning editing and the photographer finally says something like “at this level, this is work not a hobby” and instantly becomes the villain. Suddenly “support” means endless free labor “friendship” means never cashing in and “being transactional” means daring to ask if your time has any shape at all.

  • Some people will say real friends do not keep score. The real issue is not that someone drew a line but that one person never saw the line that existed the whole time. When a business outgrows the idea of free help from a friend but still acts like nothing changed maybe the only boundary left is the one that says “I am not your volunteer department.”

Like what you see? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google. 

Tags

friendship bad friend best friends friends girlfriend friend mean girls business
Scroll Down For The Next Article

Also From FAIL Blog

Hotel outsources bartender’s job after keeping him on for 6 years with “better future” promises, offers a housekeeping job instead of compensation: ‘I’m effectively out of a job at that company

Hotel outsources bartender’s job after keeping him on for 6 years with “better future” promises, offers a housekeeping job instead of compensation: ‘I’m effectively out of a job at that company

Trending Now

Employee accepts 18k raise and promotion, quickly finds himself wishing he was back in his old job because of the increased time, stress, and responsibility: 'Now I spend 60% of my time in meetings'

Employee accepts 18k raise and promotion, quickly finds himself wishing he was back in his old job because of the increased time, stress, and responsibility: 'Now I spend 60% of my time in meetings'

01
Employee comes down with the flu and requests to leave their shift early, manager approves but coworker refuses to let them go: ‘"I'm not missing out on my break!"’

Employee comes down with the flu and requests to leave their shift early, manager approves but coworker refuses to let them go: ‘"I'm not missing out on my break!"’

02
Beloved manager resigns and entire team follows, forcing the store to close down: 'There was literally no one left to work'

Beloved manager resigns and entire team follows, forcing the store to close down: 'There was literally no one left to work'

03
15+ New employees who got fired on the spot: 'She didn't even make it through the office tour'

15+ New employees who got fired on the spot: 'She didn't even make it through the office tour'

04
UPDATE: Employee refuses to organize boss's 50th birthday party after he made 0 effort for their birthday: 'I told him I'm not having anything to do with organizing anything for him'

UPDATE: Employee refuses to organize boss's 50th birthday party after he made 0 effort for their birthday: 'I told him I'm not having anything to do with organizing anything for him'

05
Worker quits on the spot after boss fires him and demands he stay 3 weeks to train his replacement: ‘You can't toss someone overboard and ask them to train someone as they go over the railing’

Worker quits on the spot after boss fires him and demands he stay 3 weeks to train his replacement: ‘You can't toss someone overboard and ask them to train someone as they go over the railing’

06
Advertisement